((((((((((((((((((( Candy ))))))))))))))))))))

I've had this happen to me twice in my life, hon, and I soooooo know what you're going through...almost an intimate struggle with reality as you know it, dancing on the edge of Heaven and Hell.

You know what your eyes and ears are telling you, both so conflicting with your personal experience of someone cared so much for.

You hang *tight* to your experience of this person, because it's your's and no one or nothing can take that away from you.

Please remember this...

This can muddy your overall knowledge of this person, but it can NOT muddy what you hold personally near with this person as your own. It cannot alter what you own. What you have is YOURS. You remember that and hang onto that. This person is the same to you that he always was, and whatever may have on some other relationship plane, your relationship plane with him is separate and apart, and in that...unchanging.

This threatens to shatter your reality in understanding of who this person is, and I know that. That might happen...to that specific part of your knowledge *about* him. However, your personal and intimate experience *of* him is unchanged and secure. That's where you stand, friend.

Even if, again if, this is true he still remains to you what he was. Know that, stand on that, and rest there, honey.

Please take it easy on the ativan and rest on what *you personally* know as it's the only thing that can truly affect you and touch your life personally.

I'm here and don't hesitate to PM.

KD