I want to tell you about how I spoke up for myself and my values at the meeting last night and was assertive and even said some of the things I value in myself.

But I don't want you to think that it upsets me when you say I'm attractive
The few times you've said it it's been almost an afterthought. You weren't saying "you're attractive so you shouldn't hurt yourself" as if physical attractiveness is what's important to me when it comes to my self worth, as if it's what I should base my decision to not SH on.

It's kind of nice to hear it from you every once in a while because my shame makes me feel disgusting and like you shouldn't be able to look at me with anything other than revulsion and contempt after the things I've told you. I don't want you to think it's something you should never say again.

Edit to add: my usual litmus test is "would you be saying the same thing to a guy in this situation?" Your comments pass that test, his didn't.