Candy, You need to stop looking NOW. No more looking at the press, turn it off and stop. If you can just picture the peace you felt with him and STOP. You have to get control no matter what the outcome no matter what the public truth becomes you have a personal truth. Get hold of the personal truth and STAY there. Go to sleep with your truth and don't do media right now. Yeah, I know you are a writer but... Please hold on.