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Originally Posted by satsuma
Also I totally agree with you and with Moxie that it is really unhelpful to tell someone who has never experienced any soothing or comforting in their life that they should soothe and comfort themselves. If it was that straightforward then obviously people would just choose to do it and wouldn't need to spend money on therapy! It may be different for different people, but I'm like you in that if someone said that it would really not help me at all but I would find it upsetting and annoying. I would also hear it as kind of 'blaming', as in how it implies that iam'choosing' to be so dysregulated and upset and I could choose to calm down if I wanted to...
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Ugh, I agree--I get so sick of people telling me to do something but not telling me *how* to do it (or telling me to do things that just don't help).
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Originally Posted by nottrustin
I look at it from the perspective that a person can truly care about multiple people in the same way for their different attributes. As a mother of three I love and care about all the of them and they are all special to me because of their different personalities and talents. Just because my daughter is special to me doesnt mean that my boys are not.
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Maybe this will sound weird, but I feel the same way about my patients (I'm a doctor but not in psych)--I genuinely care about all of them as individuals, with all of their foibles and mishaps and struggles. The idea that caring for one patient means I've got less to go around for the rest has never occurred to me. I can't explain it very well but it's something I feel very clear about.