I am being more assertive at home and it isn't going well. I am finding out that when I actually have feelings (anger) that I don't want to have, it's not my choice. REally? I now realize I have to be assertive to prevent myself from going into that angry space. Assertiveness isn't always accepted with open arms. I feel like a nonentity, and that my intrusive self that has an opinion is unwanted. I feel like my opinion doesn't matter, or moreso, that it isn't wanted. I am trying to change the status quo that has been in place for years and years. It's not working. I am no longer who I was. I have my own opinions which are inconvenient I suppose. I just want to be a hermit. I want to fade into obscurity.

T, I hope you like this me, because you may be the only one who does. I feel unwanted as a person with an opinion. I am so tired, I just don't want to deal with this anymore. Please help me. Please be genuine. Please. I need someone to trust. I can't trust myself.