It sounds like she is very much like you in that drinking was involved in sexual activity. In addition, she evidently had traumatic experiences that led her to drink.

Your “mistakes” due to drinking evidently do not the trouble you as much as hers do. She made more of them, you say, they are “excessive” to you, but then again she apparently had a lot more traumatic pain than you had.

From what you wrote, your concerns seem to be your “negative mindset” and the opinions of other guys around town. You want to be able to take pride in her but evidently right now you cannot.

How much does she know about your negative mindset? Which is more important to you: the perceived negative reactions of guys around town, or her daily presence in your life?

I can see two options if you cannot disregard those negative thoughts and just carry on with your relationship in a fully loving way. You can seek therapy to help you modify the thoughts that trouble you. Or let her go so she can find someone who loves her without mental reservations.

Please address this problem at once. If you cannot find a way to love her without mental reservations, then allow her the chance to find someone who can.