He sounds so much like my first therapist it's not even funny (even down to the level of experience and how he rationalised poor boundaries). My first T made me feel like the relationship was more than professional and then would turn round and shame me for having feelings towards him. Boundaries all over the place, and I later found out, completely selfish. Didn't give a **** about me.

I know this will sound trite but this is a blessing in disguise. This could have gone two ways -
1) abandonment
2) an unethical out of therapy relationship followed by abandonment.

Either way I'm sorry to say abandonment was inevitable. But now you have a chance for healing. I know it doesn't feel like it but it can happen. Because of the nature of transference, I found that feelings began to change with time and eventually the attachment faded. (It took me about 18 months). While he kept you in this unhealthy cycle, you had no chance for healing.

I don't know what the best steps are for you. For me, I knew I couldn't cope without another therapist and it turned out to be a good choice for me. Whatever you decide is best for you, I wish you healing. This person was unskilled and unethical and it's been apparent for some time.