I have learned that when I start overreacting to my son or husband's requests/emotions, it is time to have a "time out" from them. In the case of my husband, he hangs out in our TV room alot so I stay out of that room and stop taking daily walks with him. Within 24 hours, I am usually feeling more rational. When my son has said something that has made me upset--I take a break (a day or two) from calling him or if he keeps calling me (more than one time in the same hour and it is obviously triggering)--I tell him I am struggling and need a break (as in, unless it is an emergency--let's talk about this tommorrow).

So maybe find a way to have some separation time from them?