I believe we can help ourselves how we feel. We can learn regulate emotions. Perhaps inability to control feelings is what led to choosing wrong partners repeatedly (“I like him. I can’t help it. He is a loser but I can’t help how I feel so I gonna hook up with him anyway”)

What are you accomplishing by beating yourself up over having unsuitable partners?. I think time and mental energy is better spent on working finding roots of these repeated attractions to wrong people. You’ve been done with this guy for a year, it was established then that he is messed up. You still keep stressing about that he was a loser. That’s not new.

He is out of your life. It’s not like you have to co-parent for the next 18 years or pay him alimony or buy him out of the house. You’ve been together less than a year. It’s done and over with.

What does your therapist say about you keep ruminating about this loser? Is he worth that much mental struggle on your part?