1. I don't understand why I can't feel or when it happened. I want to say that I'm sorry, I want to tell you how scared I am for me, for you, for both of us-- but I just can't. It's not there right now and I'm so sorry for that.

2. You have done more for me than anyone I have known-- made yourself available, allowed me to be me in all forms, accepted who I am, stayed with me through all of that. Thank you and I think I might love you for all of that.

3. You are truly my hero. I love you so much and I don't know what the hell I will ever do when the day comes that you are no longer here. I think about that often. I wish I didn't, but I do. I just love you so much. There is so much of you in me. I am grateful for that.

4. I have loved you always, but hated most of the things that you did (or did not) do. All I wanted was for you to care just enough to get help. I don't get so angry anymore. Just sad.

5. You have become one of the people closest to me. I feel connected to you in a million different ways, but I still %#@&#! hate you for what happened that night.