This July my therapist of 25 years died. She had been on medical leave since March, but she had told me she would be back in the Fall, and I didn't think it was life-threatening.

Then early in July my psychiatrist called to tell me she had died. Apparently she had had pancreatic cancer but still had been expected to survive (I guess it was caught very early...but not early enough). But she ended up dying of an infection.

I had been seeing another therapist for Eating Disorders and for the past five months she has taken over. She's been wonderful, but now she's retiring.

I am in horrendous grief. I'm supposed to find another therapist, but the ones I've seen - I think they're probably very good - but I feel physically nauseous after seeing them.

I don't have close friends really. Friends are hard for me, which is why I've always been overdependent on my therapist.

My life is falling apart in other ways too, but I don't really care. 3 days days after my therapist died I was fired from my job of 8 years for unrelated reasons. I didn't care at all. I wished them well.

I'm devastated by the loss of relationships which aren't even really real.