Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
I did not mean to suggest anyone would enjoy it but, at least for me, I usually value if a friend tells me directly if something about me or what we do makes them uncomfortable - then I can pay attention and do things differently. It usually does not mean they don't like me or don't care, more the opposite. And I also like if I can be that direct with a good friend. It is not pleasant but an effective way to resolve issues in a relationship, IMO. But from a T to a client, I think they should not say anything like that or do it very carefully and thoughtfully, also time it well. I am pretty sure Ts feel uncomfortable around many things with clients, just like most people with work challenges sometimes. But they are not paid and called professionals to voice their discomfort, especially without a therapeutic reason for the client.
|
It's not that I don't value it, although I don't believe he is being truthful either, it's just that, hearing it, hurt. For me, it's about the state of mind I'm in while hearing it. Usually I keep ALL people in my life distant, so we don't discuss much personal anything. Some of them have been blunt in the past and it's fine. Some like my best friend, can be blunt, and while I like it, because you know what you are getting, it also hurts. She told me in regards to this situation to stop crying, it's ridiculous. It hurt because it reminded me of my mom. So friends can hurt, family can hurt, it doesn't matter WHO someone is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spangle
I am truly sorry that you are hurting so much. However, I really do think he’s done you a massive favour. His lax boundaries have already damaged you & although at this point, it doesn’t feel like it, but in time you will see that he’s given you the best gift of all, by not being in your life. You are important, you do matter & you do deserve better. You have a good understanding of what you need to do to make your life better. IMO in time, I’d see another therapist. You will be guarded & of course you won’t trust someone else initially, but if you find a therapist who has good & consistent boundaries, you will be more inclined to trust them & you will be safe.  |
Thanks but therapy is not for me. Not something I've any interest in bothering with again. I know I'm unfixable but it is what it is. I don't want to waste more time or money on it. I'd rather be with dogs anyway. I'm looking into adopting another and volunteering with dogs. Stuff to keep me busy.