This kind of thread comes up on a regular basis. (Always it's a male upset over his girlfriend's past. Never the reverse.) I wish all young women could be advised that they are foolish to divulge prior sexual experience to a man they are becoming serious with. Doing so serves no good purpose. I guess, if you live in a small town and you're apt to run into previous sex partners, it might be wise for the guy to be forewarned. The couple might want to avoid unnecessary social interaction with those men.

Men and women are different in what sex means to them. During war, when an invading army rolls into town, the local women get raped left and right. All armies do that. (Read about the behavior of American marines who took Okinawa Island during WW2. They "took" more than territory. Lots of mixed race babies left behind as proof . . . and generally not from consensual assignations. Look at the female suicide rate wherever an invading army has planted their banner.) Men are capable of wanting sex with women they disdain, or even hate. It's not all that unusual for a man to want sex with a woman he plans to murder right afterward. You just don't hear of scenarios where a female murderer planed to kill a guy, but thought, "Let me have sex with him first." Women have trouble telling the difference between sex and love. Men don't. Loneliness makes some women promiscuous, especially when they are young and unattached. They may simply want the comfort of being held. I could make the argument, Hbrown, that your 2 or 3 one-night stands were more morally problematic than your girlfriend's 16 loose encounters. Your moral compass allowed you to have casual sex, if you had some alcohol and were sufficiently horney. She was battling severe feelings of being unwanted - one of the worst emotional states a human can endure. Women typically don't even derive much sexual satisfaction from loveless bedroom encounters. Many men, by contrast, find great sport in the same activity.

I think your girlfriend is wrong to apologise for her past experiences. I don't think she hurt anyone. She also didn't help herself, which is why she abandoned that activity. This is not something she should seek your forgiveness for, IMHO. I think she was foolish to have even told you. She may have feared you hearing something in your travels round town.

With how sexually active young people are these days - from, like, age 15 - it must be getting more and more rare for couples to not run the risk of socially bumping into past sexual partners. I'm not sure if we've evolved an etiquette for handling that. But, somehow, relationships are managing to survive that problem. I think yours can too. There are a lot of tough problems that come up in life. You'll have your share, no matter who you partner with. In 40 years, you may wish that this had been your biggest challenge.

Your gf and you both have faults . . . real ones that have nothing to do with previous sexual experience. You will find that love means tolerating a great deal of frustration. In my relationship, I find we have lots to forgive each other for on a daily basis, without even needing to look back on the past. You are asking how you can "accept" this past set of experiences that your gf had. I don't think you need to "accept" it. I'm not even sure what "accept" means. I don't think this is an offense you need to forgive either. She hasn't wronged you. If you ever have to be in proximity to some guy who had a sexual encounter with her, that will be uncomfortable. But where did you ever get the notion that there's some way you can arrange your life where you won't have very uncomfortable things to endure? You're at the age where a man does one of two things, IMHO. He falls in love with an person who he sees as imperfect, or having an imperfect past, and decides to make a life together with this person. Or he decides to hold off and look for someone who is a "better fit." This is why - IMO - single guys over the age of 30 are kind of emotionally stunted. By that age, they've had relationships, but - always - there was a problem . . . . . and there always will be. They become incapable of being satisfied. They keep holding out for something better.

I agree with what is said above that, if you are going to look down on this girl for what she told you, then move on.