Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
I feel this way too, and I am ashamed of it. I have been special to romantic partners and friends, but not in my family. I was always a good student, team member , kid whatever, but never the best, the most, or really either standing out or falling down. My T is soooo busy. He even ut up new rules for his practice on his waiting room table bc he doesn't have time to talk to people individually, and he has lots of days off with his family. I just get forlorn that he doesn't remember/like me that well, except for the gothic C-PTSD story about me, and that makes me feel lost a bit.
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It's not nice to feel that you don't matter, except for an 'interesting' story. I'm sorry that you feel ashamed. I also get feelings of being ashamed or that I shouldn't be longing to be special, which is partly why I started the thread. The answers here are very helpful to me. For what it's worth, I don't think that you have anything to be ashamed of. As Koru Kiri and others have said, it is normal to feel like this if we didn't have the care and nurture we needed while we, and our minds and brains, were developing. Never a child's fault and nothing to be ashamed of. If you haven't read 'The Body Keeps the score' then I highly recommend it.