Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
I look at it from the perspective that a person can truly care about multiple people in the same way for their different attributes. As a mother of three I love and care about all the of them and they are all special to me because of their different personalities and talents. Just because my daughter is special to me doesnt mean that my boys are not.
In my experience Ts can be very much like that. T and I had a very special relationship. I tought her many things. We had a special bond, and when I read in her office it was like nobody else existed. However it doesn't mean that any any of her other clients are less special.
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Thank you for this, nottrustin. I think this is a very helpful way to look at it. I used to work as a teacher and so I kind of know what you are saying - I cared about all of my students, each in a different way, and caring about one didn't diminish my caring for any other.
I know that this is also the case for T. First of all, I know with my logical mind that it is as you have said, and secondly because T himself has said something similar. One time I asked him straight out about whether the caring could be 'real' as it's his job and he has so many clients, and he said something about how he is lucky to have a job that involves caring about other people and also that is a choice he has made because he finds it rewarding to care. So I do understand.
What is in a way surprising to me - although maybe not so surprising in another way - is all of these 'needy' feelings that make me want and I hope to be 'special'. They seem to come from a younger place. I'm trying to just notice and accept the feelings rather than thinking that they are 'wrong' because I find that trying to talk myself out of thinking or feeling 'wrong' things can feed a panic spiral, and also as Koru and others have said, it kind of makes sense to have these feelings come up for people who experienced difficult things and didn't get needs met as a young child...