A few more thoughts on this:
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I feel bad for him but I don’t want to be insensitive but I really don’t want to go.
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Once again he makes the decision for me.
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I told him I wanted to be there for him but 1 my kids have my car and 2 he pushed me out of his life.
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Sounds to me like he did not make any decision for you. You aren't going....you really didn't want to go. You are the one that wanted to be there for him. He NEVER asked you to be there for him. He only informed you that his mother had died. He only responded yes to your offer.
Yoyr kids had your car. How did you expect to get there or did you assume he would pick you up?
Sounds to me like yiu didn't really want to go & you are the one that should have made that decision for yourself in the first place. If anything, your kids made the decision for you by having your car so you couldn't get there. I don't see anything in this picture where he made any decisions for you. He just has told you facts about what is going on in his life. Maybe at most he helped yiu make tge decision yiu shoukd have made yourself in the first place.