It’s true, we never know how we are perceived by others in any circumstance. I’ve been surprised by this, too, thinking others think well of me and learning they don’t even think of me at all.

I’m sorry you are struggling like this.

Not to tout any particular religion, but I have found an interesting website, powerofspeech.org
There is a daily lesson about proper speech, and it’s true, very little is helpful and necessary to say. (I hope my comment here is helpful)