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mckell13 said:
Only this time it is soooo much worse because I've also doomed the only people this world who matter to me to a life of the same ********.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">McKell, is there a way out, so you can keep yourself and the people who matter to you safe?

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ECHOES said:
suddenly I could hear it without the deep deep shame I normally feel.... I felt like Helen Keller at the water pump... things that she has said were suddenly falling into place, connecting with me, making sense.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It's like we have to be in some sort of special zone of receptivity to be able to hear and make sense of it all. I think back to last night and I remember sitting there while T talked, in that unusual spot on his couch, responding occasionally, and I just felt so open to what he was saying. I was not defensive at all. I was just receiving and benefiting from what he said without arguing or throwing up walls or defenses or stumbling blocks or diversions.

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ECHOES said:
I hope T remembered to make his call.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">No, he didn't call. No surprises there, I guess. Same old, same old. I can't wait forever for him and his instructions; I need to move forward and take my own actions.