Ok phelps. I'm going to have to agree with you now. You feel like you aren't the most important person to her right? Been there. And I believe it does dishonor your marriage.

If you don't already have one, you might try to find a good marriage counselor. I think everyone would benefit from having one on call. If your wife refuses to go, see if you can go yourself and let the counselor help you figure out how to talk to your wife. It really helps to have a third person help the other person see our point of view.

It doesn't really matter if the crush is innocent or obsessive. It's enough that it hurts you. That isn't good for the marriage.