Thanks Jersey, and yes he did seem checked out, which is partly why I'm struggling, I wanted some care or compassion, something so I didn't feel so alone... he couldn't give me that.

I'm glad you understand the whole not wanting more therapy thing, it seems thats the most common thing I'm told but I just can't do it... I'll find a way, I always do. I will bury my pain like I have my whole life. Try to focus on other things even though, sadly so many things will remind me of him now.

At least I got a few sessions to go. I can try to make more peace with it somehow. Although if he continues to seem checked out, it will be hard.