I know it's probably dumb but I'm struggling and need to try to understand things as best I can and even though I plan to ask him this as well, I'm unsure what I'll get from him as he seems to have become cold and distant.

How can someone be so "involved" with me.... for every week but 1, for over 20 months and feel nothing? Just cut and run like I meant squat?

I mean, we literally, other than his 2 week break when I was forced to not contact, never went more than 5 days without talking in some form. We texted often, went to sessions outside the office, laughed and screwed around more than anything while in the office, walked with my dog every week, really got to know each other and share personal things etc...

Then it's like I'm the only one struggling and in pain and he is able to just like walk away easily? How did none of this matter to him? How can he have been so kind and compassionate but have no emotion? I'm so confused.

No rude or judgement replies please, I just need support and answers that can help me understand. I feel like this has all been a lie, and I'm the one suffering