I am close to 40 than to 30. I would like to have a normal life where I feel I am a human being with relationships to feel I have a social and emotional support, and a stable job where I don't live in fear and anxiety all the time, while doing something meaningful and interesting. These are the two basic things I would like to have, but the more I think about my life and what I have achieved (which is nothing), the more I feel depressed to do anything.