Well, you had been in a relationship where you believed you found the right person to settle down with. You WANTED things to work out and were willing to forgive and support that individual in finding his way forward. You invested your time and your money only to end up being let down and crushed. That kind of experience takes time to grieve and it's something most people have a hard time with. Something like that also creates self doubt in questioning your own ability to judge etc. and trust yourself. It's actually normal to see things you missed "after" you have distanced from someone for a while too. You have been talking and learning and gaining more knowledge and in that you can see more and it's only normal you would have moments where you would review what you experienced that ended up hurting you. We are designed to think back on something we navigated through that presented us with challenges, it's part of how we are designed as we really are born navigators and problem solvers. We are designed to draw on our life experiences as we move forward in our lives.

I spent years working with a lot of children and I taught them privately and one thing I learned is they are all different. Some children are fearless and very outgoing while other children are timid and careful and more insecure and some are quiet while they are taking in something new and it isn't until they have had time to mull something over that they begin to talk about it too. Unfortunately, a lot of children are told "don't let that bother you, don't feel afraid, don't feel sad, when in reality what that child really needs to learn is "what" these feelings actually mean.

Honestly, one thing I had noticed in dealing with so many different children is the ones that often struggled the most were the ones who's parents were therapists and psychiatrists and teachers. Too "controlling" and often even worse when it came to helping their children learn how to understand their emotions. Often the problem came from "perfectionism" that was more about the parent thinking they had all the answers and they did not allow their child to come up with their own way of looking at things and even feeling about things.