Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Only time when remination becomes a problem is if it keeps the hurt going.....like picking at a scab to the extent the sore never heals. But that is the extreme just like no ruminating can be an indication of lack of actual processing an issue. Obviously like with everything else either extreme is unhealthy.
Just like regret. If we live focused on all our regrets it is NOT healthy but to not acknowledge them is unhealthy also..
Learning the ability to regulate ourselves & learn how to acknowledge & stay in control of our emotions is a good indication of being in a healthy mental state.
While you Golden were not allowed to be angry.....anger was about the only emotion I had for 54 years....or at least the only one I recognized until I finally got a very outstanding psychologist to help me.....that was definitely an unhealthy place for me to be.....though most of my anger was directed outward & can now see the behaviors that were directed at myself.
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Thanks Eskie. Good news is, I worked through the hurt in the beginning. It’s been a process like I wrote above. Now I’m In a regretful stage but I won’t linger here. Like I wrote above, next is self forgiveness vs regret. I can’t beat myself up forever. That’s masochistic. I now handle anger appropriately. I’ve learned better over the years.