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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
That sounds like a really good session, starfishing. Did you find it helpful to type it all out? I find that helps me process it, plus then I can look back on it later.
About the fidgeting thing, it's the same with my T (to the point that for a few moments, I wondered if we could be seeing the same T, but then a detail you gave about him reaching for a pad on his desk from his chair didn't fit with the layout of his office). I do all kinds of fidgeting in session, and he's often fidgeting/playing with his hands, so I've wondered if he's also a fidgeter or if it's mirroring (whether consciously or subconsciously).
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Yes, it was a good session! This kind of difficult but productive session has been pretty typical lately. Complete with extended silence at the beginning that always seems to happen recently no matter what I do.
I don't know if it was helpful to write it out, but it was definitely interesting. It does shift my recollections of the session some, but I'm not sure yet whether the shift is a good or productive one. It's an intriguing challenge to try to give an accurate picture of things though, especially trying to capture the feel of it without going into major TMI about the minutiae of my life and the issues I'm working on. So much of what happens in a session seems specific to those minute details, intangible, difficult to describe, or all of the above.
It's funny that your therapist fidgets that way too! I feel like mine doesn't fidget at all unless I'm doing it, so I do think there might be some unconscious mirroring going on. And I can definitely assure you we don't have the same therapist according to the posts of yours I've seen, unless your therapist has a secret life as a psychoanalyst
