I don't know if the romantic breakup analogies are accurate or not, but I must confess that I'm one of those people who becomes extremely cold and even sadistic when I decide to break up with someone. This doesn't happen in every relationship, but it happens in 90% of them. For me, it's like a switch flips, and I lose all positive feeling for the other person. All that's left is contempt.

But it doesn't mean that I never had feelings for them or that I was pretending or playing games before. When I was hot and heavy, when I told them I loved them, I always meant it in the moment.

I don't know why I'm like this, except obviously there's something wrong with me.

I've always been a bit of an emotional sadist, deriving a sick pleasure from emotionally hurting people. (I'm not much into physically hurting people, even consensually, but emotionally hurting people is different and fun.) The only person I loved whom I didn't want to hurt was my therapist. That's why I often say he taught me how to love.

So, yeah, I can easily be two different people. But both versions of reality are real to me. The love and the contempt.

ETA: Obviously, if your T is like me, he should never have become a therapist. No one this effed up should be a therapist.