Oh, that has to be hard. I know when I had my ear/balance problems my stepmother got anxious since my mother died from a brain tumor so my stepmother was quizzing the heck out of my father as I was about the age my mother had been when she got ill/died.
Anything you can do differently than what happened to your grandfather that might reassure you you're "different"?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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