I'm sorry everyone that has pain med issues, it is difficult to obtain ... what I find worse are doctors that down play the pain, that are just being asses. However, I do believe With Some pain managment doctors -
- they are really trying to avoid addiction in the long term.
I never minded the piss tests because I understood what it was for. If your using other drugs than what's been discussed ((all meds)) then it does put up a red flag that One may need more help than the pills.
But I could be off, could be entirely wrong on my belief. Or I could had skimmed over someone saying this already (apologize)

I wanted to check in
I had a really good day and now...
I am still up.. I tried to sleep.. can't.... i have to work tomorrow but if explain my issue rn ("can't sleep clown will eat me" bart moment) I may get a slide on remotely working ((but I hate doing that because I don't have a monitor of my own, reception, etc..)).
If I do dose off I wake up in jolts ..
When awake
Question keep popping up of what's the purpose and what is (how do you know) a meaningful relationship? A few others pop up but those are the main ones.

Purpose i can level with " it's what we make of it".. or even for some- religions, family, etc. Ehat have you.. that's great for those that have it... guess I don't feel I've made much of it besides being an isolated person that thinks too much (at first I wrote hermit that thinks too much.. hahaha.. ha).

Think I'll get a glass of water.... been meditating, wrote in my journal, drank some tea.
I will get to sleep, I will.... I feel so tired