I've got to the point where I no longer feel that 'working through' it is the answer, because it suggests that the feelings I have for him are an obstacle or a problem, that need to be resolved. What if the intense feelings are part of the therapy itself and what if I can use them to progress? I have experienced a shift in my thinking and feeling more recently and what has helped me move forward slightly is:
a) allowing myself to feel the feelings (especially the pain), rather than try to understand them or analyse them.
b) look at the hole/emptiness and experience it's presence as an adult, in some ways accepting it as part of me.
c) make a conscious effort to move myself forward, because there is a part of me that wants to stay in the dysfunctional attachment.

Strong feelings of love and attachment come up a lot in therapy and yet, it doesn't feel as though therapists or the therapy system are able to adequately help the process. I get the impression, that most therapists are winging it, and it's the clients who suffer.