Hi clydeblack. Please don't hurt yourself! Doing so is going way too far. Believe me when I say that hurting yourself causes more problems in the end than seeking intensive help without that kind of "cry for help". And as for any more permanent hurting of oneself. Don't even go there. When we're in misery, the illness of depression (or whatever leads to those thoughts) can convince us that such severe measures relieve pain. But they can result in the ultimately worst thing.

If you need a break from the pressures of life, perhaps you can take a bit of a short-term leave. Maybe talk to your therapist and/or psychiatrist about whether that is a good option. Certainly let them know about the razor. They have to know where your mind really truly is. Breaks can seem like non options, but they aren't. Everything picks up again after one is feeling better.