I can relate to what you are saying. My mom would have also went on and on about what a stupid lazy kid I was to forget the bus pass .. if that were me as a kid forgetting the bus pass. My mom would have had me feeling so lousy and shamed - for doing something totally human (everyone forgets stuff) - that I would have been too embarrased to give the real reason for being late. I would have felt pressure to "make up" a reason that would prevent others from seeing me as my own mom saw me.

It is wonderful that you are able to break that cycle with your own child. I also try very hard to break that cycle with my children. Spilling a glass of beverage at the dinner table when I was a kid used to bring the wrath of god himself .. now, when my kids dump food, beverage on the table at dinner - I do not do that to them. I have them clean up the mess (even though I know that I will need to rewipe the table later on that evening) and then we just get back to dinner. No tears, no put downs - it is just a mistake.