Over how many years? How long should it take to figure out that this guy is not going to change for any reason. He doesn't want to. That's what it takes. And he, in spite of liver damage, DUIs, potential jail, he keeps drinking. I'm afraid his rock bottom with drinking will be the worst you can think of.

that's only dealing with the drinking alone, he's established that he speaks "I love you" with his mouth but everything about him is saying otherwise. He lies to you outright if he says he's "attracted" but doesn't want the other girl... I mean it's established that he's a cheater and a liar even before he had this affair and mind you it IS an affair, and although he says nothing physical happened (which I doubt is true anyway) it would still be an affair where he is gaining the attention of another woman, giving her things and lots of money, basically caring for her - she's a mistress. you have to be really reaching to believe nothing ever happened between them. Typical guys do not pay so much out to a woman they are merely "highly attracted" to. that's just .. I lack the words to describe how ludicrous that sounds.

walk away... this guy has been toying with cheating on you for a long time, and it's clear... now, that he is going to keep it going. if he says he loves you etc and tries to play that card that he doesn't want to leave you, as soon as you accept him back the cycle begins again, trust me.