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You have been through so much. If you are financially able to just chill and take care of yourself...that's the agenda, right? I am in a position where I need to get back out there to survive. I simply don't have enough money to survive on...and the book project is...to kind of help get back my mental mojo. If it is possible.
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Yeah I have a decent ltd from my employer. It's a lot less than I used to make but pays the bills. I was fortunate to have had a good career and don't have to work to survive.
I wish you fortitude in launching your book project. The hardest part often is just getting started. If you don't mind my asking, have you tried part time work or something just to get out of the house regularly?
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Yeah, it sounds like gaslighting...but a bit of folie a deux as well. I mean the dude sounds so evil and manipulating. Maybe it was a bit loosely folie a deux but mostly gaslighting.
Well, I learned my lesson. I suppose I have been keeping to myself because I feel extremely vulnerable...and that's when the sickos strike. On the other hand...I have changed. A lot. I quit drinking. I quit smoking. I became vegetarian. I don't engage in risky behavior. I don't talk to strangers. Like if a guy I don't know comes up to me when I am out and tries to talk to me I literally say I don't talk to men I don't know and I walk away.
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I don't think my ex had any kind of psychosis though he was definitely a sick puppy. It turns out I was probably sicker because of my problem with going off the rails of sanity.
I don't often have the problem of men who I don't know start talking to me. The chemo and smoking all those years before I quit in 2015 definitely aged me.
Good for you for quitting drinking and smoking and making other positive changes in your life. I absolutely stay away from alcohol as I could easily become an addict to that too like my father is.
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Maybe we are both in recovery mode but just can't see it. I can't imagine having chemo. Surely it will take time to recover. Ah, kefir. Such a good idea. You have given me the craving for some today. 
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You might be right about not being able to see it. I feel like i got a sucker punch after so many sucker punches and still haven't caught my breath. Some of this I did to myself, some was the awful upbringing I had, and some is a relentless illness.
I am diagnosed but not sure if it is SZA or bipolar. My main concern is not to have another episode where I lose touch with reality. My problems pre-dated my ex and will outlast him. I also clearly have big problems with personal boundaries. I never learned what good boundaries are growing up and I have had problems from that all my adult life.
What is your book about?