This is just my opinion, mind you, Allie, but to me, that sounds as much like guilt as paranoia. It's important to try to remember that when it comes to trying to get better, it's ok to be selfish. The people who care for you will understand, and the people who don't care to understand are probably not worth worrying yourself over. Just my 2 cents, mind you, but I do want you to know it's ok to just take care of yourself for a while and not worry about others so much.

As far as honest to goodness paranoia goes, I agree it's tough to deal with. It's so hard to tell if the feelings one has are justified or not. It's great you have a boyfriend with whom you can discuss your feelings and get feedback. Keep that up and I think you'll be ok.