I'm considering going back the week before Christmas.
I think I'm hoping that being in my childhood house will help me remember more. It's been more than 2 years. And maybe I'll find my old diary. I think I'm hoping it will be super triggering. I want confirmation that it was "bad enough." I want proof that I'm not just overreacting.
Will you think that's a terrible idea? Will you think I'm looking for an excuse for self pity?

The question I really want to ask you is "do you think calling it "trauma" is overstating it?"
I don't have nightmares or flashbacks. I know that's why you asked. I've read the DSM too.
I don't want to ask and have you tell me that it wasn't trauma because of that, but that that doesn't make my feelings any less valid or some BS like that.
I'm still reliving it emotionally. I'm still having "emotional flashbacks." But you've never used that term and I'm worried you'd think I was being defensive and melodramatic because I want to call it trauma when it wasn't that bad.