I don't believe I can recover completely because I have had some brain damage from all the manic episodes and also the heavy medication I was on, never mind brain fog from chemo, which is a real thing. I am injured, truly disabled and fortunate to be protected financially.

I am sure you have thought of everything, and tried many options but was wondering if the local crisis line could put you in touch with some services or get some counselling to prevent a breakdown.

I am medicated and see a psychiatrist at least monthly, sometimes more often and I have a armoury of medication I can take if things start to go out of control but you are on your own from what I understand.