I can understand your frustration. I grew up in the Catholic church. I loved everything about the church. I even got accepted to a Dominican convent about 15 years ago!

Then something changed in me. I haven't stepped foot in a church in about 14 years. I miss it terribly, but I'm not sure what I believe anymore. It's really hard. The church brought me so much comfort for most of my life. I've really been considering going back lately. I go to a catholic university and we have mass on campus twice a week.

I know the catholic church isn't perfect. It's so far from perfect. We've had so many problems in the church, and so many don't even make the media. Its disheartening.

But - we still long to belong. We want that sense of community, of comfort, of spirituality.

Can you find a priest you trust and try just establishing a relationship with him? It doesn't mean going to church yet - but just explore what you need and how you can get it?

My psychologist is also an Oblate priest. But, I try and keep all his roles separate - priest, prof, psychologist. Every now and then I do ask him to wear his priest hat so I can talk about God and religion, and it's comforting. I used to not like to, because he is soooo liberal, and I (was) soooo conservative, but talking to him has really helped me to see things differently. I do see me going back one day...