I’m squirming more than usual in therapy recently. Mainly because I’ve realized that the stage has been set and it’s time to talk about and come to terms with a relationship that I have been avoiding for a long time.

As I assess my position and the therapeutic relationship between my T and me, I find myself continually trying to discount or dispel the notion that a relationship or connection even exists. Over the past few months I’ve tried very hard to dehumanize both myself and my T in an effort to prove that this relationship is not healthy for me and is not safe. My hypothesis: T is not trustworthy and wants to torture and harm me. The evidence however is mounting that this hypothesis is false. As I repeatedly review every detail of her dealings with me, I realize many subtle and not so subtle things that she has done since the very beginning of therapy to create a safe place for me. It must be very frustrating for a T to work this hard only to have a patient continue to doubt you.

What things does your T do to make you feel safe?