With winter Holidays coming up, there are get-togethers where I may not be able to avoid a certain toxic person. I was able to get away with not seeing her at all during Thanksgiving but it wouldn't make sense for me to constantly be a "no-show" for family and mutual friends just to avoid her.

My fear is that once I let my guard down, I will end up relaxing my boundaries with that person. So I force myself emotionally inside to not feel any sympatahy for her, reminding myself, "I've been through this so many times for years: Once I open the door, the cycle of her emotional manipulation will begin all over again."

I wish I could be like some people who are able to have sympathy for the toxic person but at the same time able to be very confident and firm with their "No." How do you balance sympathy with firm boundaries?