My parents never said anything except that I would realize how smart they really were when I got older.....that never happened.

It was interesting because after I had a breakdown in my early 40's & had to go to therapy one of the few things I remember was my mom saying that they didn't abuse me as a child. No one could understand why a successful computer engineer who seemed to have her act together could just fall apart the way I did.

I agree....they did not abuse me but their dysfunction was the foundation for the anxiety I had lived with growing up & then marrying someone with the same dysfunction added to that like the snowball effect & when the right combination of things hit me later on in life I finally crashed.

Glad I have recovered but my parents have been dead for ages & I left my H 11 years ago. The problem with dysfunctional parents is that they are incapable of teaching life skills to get through difficult things in life & their example if life is not one I chose to use so I had no example to follow. Making it up as I went was an anxiety producing task.....& they had no idea any of this was really happening within their lives because they were sure they were just as normal as any other parents.

I often wonder how anyone grows up ok because there are only a few parents out thete that are really what I would consider quality parents. No wonder why there is so much mental illness & therapy needed.