I know what you're saying. I'm going through a similar course. For years we haven't talked about the dysfunctional dynamics in the family, that now I'm so indignant and broken. They've created someone who is incapable of facing the difficulties of life. This is what their parenting has produced, although I bet they thought their constant criticism and disrespect would make me better. I know I said elsewhere that I want children, but this is just a wish to have a normal life, and be different. But in reality, at least at the moment, I don't think this is a good idea. I'm not happy (I've never been), and I don't want to make life (more) miserable to my children, too. Having children is a huge decision, and I don't think I can create a happy life for them. So, it's better for them not to exist.