Yeah... I didn't realise either till I read that book! I really recommend it if you haven't. Some of the other things you've said have reminded me of it too. The ultimate goal that she lays out is the learning of self-compassion, but she recognises that it is not at all an easy feat.

I have a fight/flight reaction to it some of the time. Or, yeah, I have that 'crawl out of my skin' feeling. On a rational, intellectual level I recognise that I'm as worthy of compassion as anyone else, no problem. But there's something running much deeper than that.

It was getting better, I think, with R. But it sort of feels like I'm starting all over again now.