Is it possible to remove yourself in parts, rather than completely abandon your family events. For instance, if you find yourself drained of energy, remove yourself from that situation immediately, find the door and go. You may find this actions effects the other person, who may then make an effort to change their actions, find another person to latch to, make a bigger effort to adjust to your needs, or not. Put yourself first and in doing that you may then sympathize affectively. Rain makes a good point, to best protect yourself, remain neutral, nod and smile