Wow. I could have written this. So many regrets, so many times (in hindsight) I should have spoken up, but I didn't. Lack of confidence, anxiety, no support from a dysfunctional family or a lazy self centered husband. I simply did not know how to 'be'.
I feel so guilty when I look back with the benefit of hindsight - so much I should have said and done but didn't.
I always loved my children to bits, but was I a good mother? I hate myself for so many failings. One of my sons hates me, says I was 'useless' that breaks my heart.