I'm realizing more and more things as I go. Some of them I think are likely done for every patient as part of good therapy but others that I've identified seem to be more individualized. There are still others that she may not be aware she is doing it, but I notice.

For one thing she has avoided firm stances. She states her option but in a calm and even tone.

She is very consistent in the way she deals with me. This helps a lot. Especially when my brain starts with the paranoid assumptions. When I go back a evaluate these assumptions I find this consistency and realize that my I'm likely making false assumption.

Just physical presence. I realize now that from the first day she allowed me to set the physical distance between us. Even when she moves around in the room, she doesn't threaten my space. This sounds stupid now that I know her better, but it made a big difference in the beginning.

I was very upset a few sessions ago at the way she handled one of the things I wrote. I my view what I wrote was very disturbing and very different than other things I had written. I initially felt attacked, but later as I thought about it I realize that she was treating it that same way as all my other writings. This dispelled the notion that she was attacking me with it. Then when I verbalize that her actions upset me, she responded and tried to ease my discomfort BUT didn't apologize for her actions. This was important, I felt like I was heard and responded to but also realized that if I want the rules to change I need to say so clearly.

There are just a lot of things that seem like they are a direct effort on her part to make therapy safe making it hard for me to refuse to participate because I fear it is unsafe.