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Old Dec 04, 2018, 07:40 PM
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,517
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia View Post
Here today, did you actually feel attached to the therapist(s) like many people who post about it here, or was it more "attachment" to therapy itself and wanting to get better? Because if the latter, I can easily imagine the frustration persists because therapy and the T got the in the of your goal for improvement and you still don't feel your problems are resolved completely.

In terms of how to heal from it, I am not sure it is possible any better than from other kinds of disappointments and betrayals in ordinary relationships. We can get to a point that it is not acutely painful but still a bad memory and sense of failure with something in which we invested a great deal of time, money, mental energy etc.
Thanks for your question and the observation/intuition behind it.

Yes, my "attachment" has probably been to an idealization of therapy itself, as a vehicle to an (also probably somewhat idealized) goal of getting better/self-improvement.

It's very hard for me to see all of this very accurately -- I've been peering into the abyss for years, and do think I'm aware of some things but they may just be shadows or ephemera. And one of the things I have observed is that I don't "do" disappointment and loss. It's not just that I don't do them well, it's that I often don't/can't do them at all, emotionally. Which makes adapting/adjusting to new realities in the world a little. . .problematic.

I can and do try to overcome the emotional stuckness with realistic cognitive assessments of what is going on, but that's often not enough and, without the emotional component, it's hard for my cognition to get what's going on all by its lonesome.

But it very much helps to have you make that observation. Maybe it's like, since you observed it, I'm not all by my lonesome with it. Which makes accepting reality easier somehow. Or something, I'm not sure.

Anyway, thanks very much.
Hugs from:
kecanoe, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
kecanoe