I was finally able to sign in. I never remember my password. I did see that I was here in Oct. so it wasn't that long ago. I am in a new apartment and am trying to adjust. I have realized that if I isolate from people I go too deep into myself and get lost. I get depressed, confused and unmotivated. I moved to a place where I have to come in contact with people. This interaction keeps us more organized. I still get depressed but I can pop out of it by going out side. I have realized that that is why I worked so much. Often I would get a second or third job. Sure I could use the money but it was more about forcing us to behave in a certain way. I always felt like I could explode and do something crazy. I didn't know I was DID. Now that I know some of the things I used to do make more sense and had a bigger purpose. Lately I have been having feelings of anxiety and fear. It is a constant battle to stay in this apartment. Much of me wants to hide in the country away from the world. But when I do it is very sad depressing and painful. It makes me question my purpose in the world. I remind myself that I know I am here to experience the world and than I will move through it. But not yet.