Thank you.
There's a lot of cognitive dissonance here. I've always felt like I had to try to convince people that I wasn't overreacting and I minimized and downplayed it because no one else seemed to think it was that bad.
And now someone is telling me it was worse than I think?
It was always so hard for me to remember details and specifics from those years. I maybe expected him to agree "you're right, that would have been stressful" or "yeah, that wasn't okay," but I didn't expect him to react so strongly. It feels like all the things he was saying were about someone else's childhood, not mine. My brain can't make them fit with mine.

I relate to what you said about not being ready to feel some things. After I read that and thought about it I realized that I'm scared to feel it. When I start to imagine actually letting myself feel it I'm scared I'd just start crying and never stop. I don't know how to soothe or comfort myself, I only know how to hurt myself.

I'm glad your T is understanding and that you're able to trust her, it sounds like she's really helpful and supportive. I'm sorry you've had similar circumstances and I hope things get better for you.