I remember when I was there, I wanted to visit an elderly in the family, because I like him and he likes me, but I didn't. Why? Because I know my father would criticize me, and then we would have a big fight. So, I avoided all of this. I feel like this every time I want to do or say something. I know he would criticize me, and tell how idiot I am. Yes, I can do and say what I want regardless of what he would say, but when I'm criticized I become very angry and lose control of myself, and start yelling and doing things, and then everyone would thing I'm a bad person because I'm confronting my parents. That's how I've felt all my life. No wonder I'm depressed and a failure in life. The fear and the suppressed emotions inside me are indescribable.