Thanks, Xynesthesia. I don't write much about the deficits and "failures" I'm embarrassed about. A "shame" issue, I guess.

Yep, we all have limitations. I have been touched by the stories of George Herbert Walker Bush -- tragedy and failure and he endured. A "great" human life, who cares about the greatness or not as a president.

I'm feeling like I can use him as a role model in a way. That's progress maybe for me, to be able look to other humans to bolster the "twinship" pillar of my self, as Kohut would put it. His theory may not apply to the development of some personalities but it feels right to me and so I have used that, too, to encourage myself to feel "twinship" because I think something got undeveloped/disappointed/stuck back when things tried to develop back in my childhood. IF, that theory makes any sense to anybody else, which I understand it may not.

Thanks for your encouragement and understanding! That's "twinship", too.